London is not going to slow down. But you can.
London has everything. But no one has any time to enjoy any of it. This isn’t necessarily a personal failure, it’s a structural one. No matter how many free museums there are, we will always say we don’t have the time. London is not slowing down any time soon, so it really is on you.
My observation: London is a city you have to consciously choose to enjoy.
Since living abroad in Amsterdam and Paris, and travelling as much as I possibly can, I’ve noticed how different London is culturally, especially when it comes to pleasure. In cities like Rome, Paris, Madrid, pleasure is so integrated you don’t even become conscious of it. You only notice it when you leave, and realise that back home, you actually need to create your own permission. Because no one is going to hand it to you.
In London, pleasure is earned, not integrated.
And yet I love London. If anything, I’ve made a conscious effort to enjoy it more. I have no immediate plans to move abroad, so I might as well. The way I’m doing that is living more like a European. Bringing as much of my french side into my everyday.
Enjoying life doesn’t mean you’ve got your priorities wrong. It just means they’re different. And I know what I’d rather.
Don’t skip Apéro.
We have a weird all-or-nothing culture here. Ten beers or there's no point. Saving money eating in or splurging when you're going out. We don't have a middle register. Everything is either practical or an occasion. Apéro lives in neither, it just exists between 6-9pm whenever you choose it.
Walk as much as you possibly can.
Yes, this is absolutely more doable when the days get longer and it’s not raining 24/7. London is pretty great, and you can’t see it from the tube. So walk as much as you possibly can, even if it’s getting up 20 minutes earlier and going for a walk, or getting off one tube stop before you’re meant to.
See your friends more.
When I lived in Amsterdam I was always doing something with people. The same in Paris. I do think being in a smaller city helps massively. Having a friend in South West when you live in Hackney is a bit of a bloody stretch. Not impossible, but the stakes are higher. What I would say is, make the effort anyway. No one is as busy as you think they are, and it’s always worth it.
Make dinner the occasion.
Growing up, dinner together was a non-negotiable. No matter how late it was. No matter what was for dinner - usually something incredibly simple. Food is important but it doesn’t need to be anything crazy. It was about the fact that we all stopped together, and shared it.
Lay the table even if no one is coming over.
It’s much easier not to. To light a candle. To lay a knife and fork down. But there is something about the act of making an effort that says: this matters. The meal matters. Even if it’s pasta on a wednesday night.
Open a bottle on a weekday.
I grew up in a household where pleasure was very much ordinary. A glass of wine at dinner was very normal. My parents always had a bottle open. And it was very normal. I have never seen my parents drunk, because for them pouring a glass is a ritual. The wine was never expensive but the ritual always was. The point is that tasteful hedonism was very much around me growing up before I had the words for it.
Take your earphones out.
Sometimes I purposefully don’t wear my earphones on the tube. I notice more, it puts things into perspective. The nurse who’s had a much harder day than me, the finance bro who is asking ChatGPT for dating advice, the old man who’s reading the paper. I’ll be honest, if the tube is not as busy I’d rather have them in because somehow it is weirdly comforting.
Plenty more where this came from. But this is a good start. Follow it loosely, or not at all, it’s your life.